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This is an official announcement for all “White” Lindley teachers. There are a few things that you may not be aware of but I feel that it is my obligation to bring these things to light. The first thing that you need to know is that you are UNTOUCHABLE! It is impossible for you to get into trouble at Lindley. I’m willing to put money on it. The mere color of your skin gives you some type of Diplomatic Immunity from attacks from the Ghetto Gestapo. Right now you may not believe that, but it is true. She’s going to be very cordial with you on a daily basis because she doesn’t want any Caucasian causing running to human resources to complain about her. Just remember, no matter how much trash “The Ultimate Micromanager” talks, she won’t think about attacking one of you. Don’t get me wrong, she’ll pretend that she’s going to do something to harm your career like giving you a bad evaluation or firing you……but trust me……ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!! Why? Well there are some ills and philosophies that were instituted in Blacks during slavery that still exist within the African American community today. The first is a fear of WHITE PEOPLE. Yes, I said it! Some African Americans are afraid of Caucasians, especially some older foot-shufflin, Uncle Toms like Big Bertha. I suspect it was instilled in her on the plantation in her early days as a young piglet. But no matter when it started, it’s there, she’s had it all her life, and she’s going to die with it. So when she calls you to the office to talk some smack about some bullshit, stand up, put your hands on your hips like Superman, and cuss her fat ass out and tell her to go SKRAIT TO HELL! Make sure to use all the Ebonic phrases that you’ve learned over the years from watching BET Comic View and Def Comedy Jam. Words like “ Fuck You, You Wig Wearing Bitch, Thigh Scrubbing Heffa, and Greazy Neck Skank. Once Again…Trust Me. She’s not going to do a thing! Why? (CFU) Because she’s scared of ______ ______. If by chance you stopped watching Def Comedy Jam because you really didn’t understand the language and couldn’t figure out what a Jeri Curly was to save your life…….. Definitely file a grievance with the school district. You see, she doesn’t care about the Negroes in the school complaining about her to Mr. Chalie because Mr. Chalie doesn’t give a damn about us anyway. She knows this and uses it to her advantage because Mr. Chalie uses her to keep the other slaves in line. I can hear her gloating and cooning in a Principal’s meeting. “Yessa Misa Chalie. I’s done good. I’s done real good over dere at Linley. Does no good nigras over dere isa always up ta causin mess. But I gets dem to work. I works em real. Yes Sa!” LMBAO! She’s a joke at the board and her dumb ass doesn’t even realize it. But back on task…..Yes. She’s scared of yall. So just remember that when she’s talking a bunch of nonsense, she doesn’t want you, Mr. Charlie’s distant cousin, going back and complaining about her. So in any event you’ll come out squeaky clean and free as a bird. Trust me!
DISCLAIMER: Don’t try any of that shit mentioned above with a younger black person under the age of 50 because you’ll be in for a fight and may get your ass kicked in the process.